Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
这句话真TMDtmd。
注意自杀小队最后的决战阵容：黑人、白人、女人、孩子、动物，然后唯一阵亡的是白人——这么cult的电影，也依然没忘记无懈可击的政治正确。
还行。反套路其实也在套路化，好在一句peacemaker就是一个笑话。
滚导把《银河护卫队》带到DC，他的风格和片中的人物很搭，加上这里没有迪士尼合家欢的限制，电影味道一下子就出来了，和第一部比起来确实要好看太多了。玛格特·罗比依旧是最抢戏的那一个。
这真的是b级片啊，虽然剧情什么的一般般，但是装逼装的有模有样，虽然现在对恶趣味不是那么感冒，但还是给生猛中二血块友情支持1星。
太爱哈莉·奎茵了。几场戏都好喜欢，背景一路花开又喜感又帅气。Rats are the lowliest and most despised of all creatures. If they have purpose, so do we all. 这句台词直接看哭。
古恩简直是为这一类作品而生的，对比第一部《自杀小队》，古恩在整体性上做的更好，叙事以及人物的打磨更加细致，用心的对待了每一位X特遣队出镜的成员，每一次的转场都充满惊喜，衔接到位。R级的暴力与搞笑轻松的气氛，让自杀小队以更好的“姿态”站上大银幕！滚导不要停，继续拍下去！
DC还是很能打的，风格突出，血腥和暴力得暴爽。哈莉奎茵说，“如果你咳嗽不捂嘴巴，你会没命”～看见最后老鼠围城，不由得为迪士尼可惜了起来……
平均每个派大星人要对抗一百只老鼠
7.5/10。好于《死侍》。虽然我不吃美国笑话那一套，但至少没觉得无聊。小丑女开花枪战，老鼠女发动鼠疫，鲨鱼大战派大星。不乏少年心气浪漫的点：火烧鸟笼、举着标枪冲入海星之眼。有卖萌有冲突有反转有煽情，集齐了一部合格商业片的所有要素，A级制作的B级片。但我认为它是会过时的，一些套路如下一秒死亡观众早已烂熟于心，不过在当下它已经做得很好了。
75；真R级片，开头就送人头，原来是吸引火力的另外一队；海星计划，是老美搞的鬼，然后各种爆头，然后老鼠灭派大星，一般
——标题：自杀小队！——副标题：伤心派大星的地球往事之朋克永生！
如果说第一部自杀小队让我们记住了小丑女的惊艳，那么这一部我想说:我爱鲨鱼王！
十分疯狂，血腥且出其不意，导演终于放飞了自我。King Shark, Harley Quinn, Polka dot man和大海星最令人印象深刻
7.5/10虽然节奏还是有点拉胯，不过笑点足，派大星也是有够无厘头了 21/08/06
把影片类型做到极致是一种什么感受，就是精彩上还能再更精彩，锦上还能再添花，这里还是字面意思的“花”，小丑女在走廊的那一段太炫喽，一边张大嘴看一边被非常欢乐地“blow my mind”。鲨鲨太可爱，滚导真会捧萌物。Peacemaker和Flag的对立充斥着理想主义与现实主义无法妥协的割裂，其实很无奈。血腥，直接，赤裸讽刺和严厉自嘲，还有一众劲歌金曲，滚导出手就是才华横溢啊。8.13
滚导把《银河护卫队》带到DC，他的风格和片中的人物很搭，加上这里没有迪士尼合家欢的限制，电影味道一下子就出来了，和第一部比起来确实要好看太多了。玛格特·罗比依旧是最抢戏的那一个。
超能英雄B级片，杀戮无限番茄汁。小丑女全场最佳大女主。各种影射反讽堪称老阴阳师。这还不得四星咩～
偶尔的真情与严肃在整部电影诙谐无厘头的基调下同样惹人发笑。
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