Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
我以为要看到阿部宽了！结果就真的只有一张照片……还有永远只活在彩蛋里的三木律师？感谢还给JC和star安排了一个想象中的戏份，红领带有心了～一切都是那么的完美，有了五郎的加入，真是强强联手啊～
这个系列到了这一部已经成了“为了反转而公式化反转”、“为了贴题而强行煽情上价值”的大烂片了。本身剧情设定上就毫无亮点了，它还“创新”性分角色段落式地去剪辑影片，不仅内容重复（观影疲劳），且故事的连续性也断了，更别提那点稀罕的悬疑感了。归根到底还是剧本太烂，主演表演方式固定化，最后本该是高智商的大反派硬生生被演成了没智商的神经病，也是绝了。如果剧本没啥创新的话，这个系列就砍了吧，要不然拍再多续集也还是狗尾续貂。（BTW，飞蛾扑火是中国谚语！）
濑户康史不错。希望star和杰西继续活在作品里。
五星纯纯是因为我太喜欢电视剧版本了，电影版真实来讲只能给2-3星。没有任何为电影版打造的大场景(昨日的美食至少有给一段美美的京都)，不知道在电影院看的意义是什么。且节奏好拖沓，合着根本没有什么矛盾冲突的平淡发展(家人也都亲事答应的太快了)让我看了好几次手机现在几点了。。甚至连精髓的笑料部分都少，观感还不如情人节sp了呢。只是为了给粉丝一个交代的感觉好强烈。不过我依然还是那么喜欢町田和赤楚，ライブビューイング看到他俩默契的一对一答才让我有了些姨母笑的感觉。喜欢樱桃魔法依然是很开心的事呢，不会后悔。也会继续关注他俩演出的其他作品的，町田的古装也很好哇，町田土方什么的！！！
5轻信后怎么办？不要着急忙慌，不要手忙脚乱。以不变应万变，敌人就等你先出招先犯错。但是，我不作为，敌人反而等不住。
老套路已经猜得大差不差了，但还是没料到松重丰的反转以及最后的赢家居然是三代，在台词里出场的杰西和Star真好呐
二刷看完了，好温馨好幸福，又买了几张电影票请朋友去看，大概率会五刷的好电影
比较粉丝向，虽然赤楚还是很可爱但中间一度快睡着
最后的masami好可爱
但也无可厚非
大致剧情我都预测到了，意外在于真梨邑的身份设计。前一个小时真的太蠢了，不知道什么时候编剧能像之前一样，把假的一幕也设计得真一点，太假的话观众就只会在意真相是如何，前面的铺垫就会成为流水账和浪费时长的辣眼破烂。
①黑泽无数次自我感动式的将自己的想法隐藏，然后做出一副深情又痛苦的表情，让人无语之余只剩下了审美疲劳…
最离谱就是片尾的演职员表：双男主一头一尾可还行？什么新式避嫌？
完全十一罗汉化了 全员明星卡司+多次反转与全员骗子。马耳他不错，另外半天没听出来法语…
电视剧前七集yyds，谈恋爱果然还是没在一起前，双方都互相知晓一些心意，但是又不敢确定那种痒痒麻麻暧昧的感觉最迷人
欢闹乐呵，英雄的诠释。在把达子作为最终反转的惯性思维下看完之后，结局还挺惊喜暖心。不过制作假家的手法不算新奇，真梨邑是犯人也容易猜到，所以惊喜不多。还是希望能给达子一个好看点的发型呀。
2022映画第11部，4星。标准的爆米花电影，热热闹闹开开心心的演戏中戏中戏😂 前作电影里出场过的人物也给了些戏份，star和jessie都在故事里好好的活着，赤星最后玩儿的也很开心，恶人得到了应有的报应，真的欢欢喜喜大结局。写到这儿突然觉得，这片子十分适合贺岁档上映😳
杀了我吧 tv版到底给我下了多大蛊 真是人生中坐如针毡头皮发麻抓耳挠腮的90分钟 俩人真是一点cp感也凑不出来 尴尬到要人死
本着以往的经验，知道有很多小猫，谁能想到，死对头都成了猫。。。编剧没把自己绕进去，还是挺厉害啊
前期为了喜剧效果有点过头了，怀念杰西。日本演员还是挺敬业的，代入角色后难以想象现实里东出会出轨。最后造房子有点过了，如果不知道保险库内部构造相当容易穿帮。濑户康史是真敢演啊，把老前辈这么按。不过赤星就是个抖M，长泽雅美yyds，完结撒花。🎉
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